The Food Pushers

Your mom makes your favorite dessert, your co-worker brings in baked goods, or you are at a dinner party and you are offered a sugary, fattening, high calorie food or beverage that you really don't want. Or you may want to have, but know that it will not help you get to your goal any sooner and won't make you feel good after you eat it. Have you ever felt like you "had to eat" something, even if you did not want it, to avoid hurting someone's feelings? Do you feel like even a polite refusal would offend the other person? Especially, if you are a "people pleaser", saying "no" can be hard. But in your attempt to please the food pushers, you can be seriously hindering and conflicting your goals of slimming down and hurting yourself in the long run. Have you reached a point where you can now say "no thank you" and pass up tempting foods, only to have to keep fighting back like a tug-of-war game. The pushers keep pushing with "Are you sure you don't want any?, Just have a little, wouldn't you like to try this?, oh come on, one won't hurt you, I've made this especially for you, your too thin anyway, are you sure you've had enough?" and they beg you to eat more. The pushers are not bad, they are usually very caring and are just trying to please you. Some people show their love through cooking and serving others. I'm sure they are not intending to sabotage you, so have a good defense and stand your ground.

Get Over It

Many people feel they are hurting people's feeling if they refuse food offered to them. However, most people either feel neutral or may have a mild reaction to your refusal. If you find yourself assuming others will be disappointed if you turn down food, ask yourself:"Won't I be disappointed if I accept that food and stray from my healthy eating?""Why is it more important for me to please them than it is to do what is best for me?""Or think about it another way. If you were a vegetarian, would you eat meat just to please someone? If you were on a special diet for medical reasons, would you abandon that diet just to spare someone's feeling? You're entitled to do what is right for you, as long as you're polite (but, firm if necessary). People who give you a hard time are the ones who are being unreasonable, not you."Saying No to the Food Pushers

You don't have to explain, sometimes giving an excuse opens up the door for an argument. However, sometimes explaining your weight loss goals can make it easier to not offend someone by explaining that the food is great, but you are just watching how much you have.

All you boot campers have an advantage because you can use me as an excuse. My number one goal is to help you reach your goal, not to make friends with your friends and family. Tell them that your trainer gets disappointed when you don't eat healthy and actually looks in your journal and makes comments.

Keep in mind these are the same people that will be asking you how you lost so much weight and got in such great shape, or how you stay so fit.

Avoid saying turn-off words like "healthy" or "I'm on a diet" that only draw attention to you.
Instead of "I can't have dessert, I'm watching it", say "that looks so good, but the dinner was amazing and I'm so full and can't take another bite".

Think about the cost - What is the cost to you for taking the offer? Eating more than you want, feeling out of control, stop losing or even gain weight, overeating or developing cravings, feeling bad about yourself. What is the cost to someone else? Think about how you would feel if you knew someone was trying to lose weight. Would you feel bad that they say "no, thank you" and for how long would you feel bad? I think most people would get over a negative attitude quickly.

Avoid preaching or teaching to avoid being a pusher yourself. If you are a "pusher" stop it.
Make a plan ahead of time- what are you going to say? Decide before you go to the party, out to eat, or to a social eating event what your response will be.

Be Positive- Always compliment your host and stay positive. You can always say "that looks so good", or "smells so good", but it doesn't mean you have to eat it.

It will get easier, as your friends and family see you looking and feeling great about your new achievements, they will be proud of you and might not offer you as many treats or be the persistent food pusher. It will also get easier to say "no".

Stall- Sometimes saying you are "full, but will have some later" is better than saying no. Later, no one will be paying attention if you don't have any, and it won't be a big deal like if you were to say "No".

If you really feel like you have to say yes, or you do want some of that cake that everyone else is having, take a small amount and savor every bite. Tell the hostess how much you like it, mash it around with your fork, put your napkin on it, throw it away, go to the bathroom and brush your teeth.

Stay Motivated

Give yourself credit and feel good about being politely assertive about your needs.
Keep up your willpower by celebrating your achievements and accomplishments like checking off your goal cards each Monday. Love the excitement of fitting into your favorite jeans and feeling great in them, the high you get from your workouts, and fueling your body with healthy foods that give you energy.

Be less concerned about disappointing everyone else than about disappointing yourself.

Avoid putting things into your body that you don't want just to avoid upsetting someone else, remember you are in control of your actions and your health.